Written by: Rebecca Monet, President and Chief Scientist of Zoracle Profiles.
How do you shift when you’re in a funk? It was an interesting question that Holly Ford asked me, while on the Pillars in Franchising a few weeks ago. On the podcast I offered a 2-part answer: ‘Lean on your tribe’ and ‘Business isn’t always Kumbaya; sometimes it’s more like war’. The first I’ll share in this article.
Lean on Your Tribe.
Face it, we need each other. We were designed to be interdependent. Life and business is all about relationship. One experiences greater satisfaction and success when plugged into and contributing to a tribe.
What is a tribe?
A tribe is a group of people gathered around a common mindset, or a common set of goals. They are people travelling in the same direction … usually at the same speed.
For a tribe to endure it must have both a common mission and shared values. I learned this lesson the hard way.
Several years ago I had an experience which to me, was worse than a divorce. I lost my home, business, and identity. This did not come at the hands of an enemy or competitor it came from those with whom I had shared a common mission. But due to leadership and stakeholder changes, we no longer had shared values. In other words, the mission remained intact but our values diverged.
Like many in similar situations, I quickly learned who my true friends were. A painful and costly lesson, indeed. Since then I have become cautious about what tribes I join and regularly check to make sure our values continue to align. In the past my missionary daughter, heart-centered mindset, would have me unknowingly casting my pearls.
Today, my time, talent and money is more wisely spent. I try to direct my resources into tribes that are consistent with my values and purpose personally and professionally.
Find, Build and Contribute to Your Tribe.
In today’s high-tech and busy world humans have become more and more insulated and isolated. Being a business owner, consultant or franchise executive working out of your home can be quite lonely, especially if you are an extrovert.
Social media has contributed to further insecurities and separation. Many have forgotten the art of friendshipping. A friend today is a stranger that has requested a connection on Linkedin.com or Facebook. Their purpose is rarely to get to know you intimately or offer a reciprocal relationship – rather they wish to sell you something or tap into your network, expertise or other resource. Occasionally, you will like their posts and look at their announcements and photos. Yet of the thousands of connections you may have – how many could you call tomorrow to borrow money or talk to about your real life challenges?
Friendship requires commitment, forgiveness and love.
Pick 6 people with whom you share values. They don’t need to be perfect; you’re not. Get to know one another. Share your goals, fears, strengths and weaknesses. Be loyal. Keep secrets. Share burdens. Encourage each other. Play and learn together. Provide feedback. Be accountable. Commit to spending time together face-to-face on a regular basis. Travel together. Solve a problem together. Don’t judge. Don’t gossip. Applaud success. Offer comfort when there’s failure. Love unconditionally. Forgive quickly. Be loyal always.
If you share a known mission (e.g.: save the spotted owl, dominate a marketplace, compete in marathons, protect the neighborhood, etc.) great. If no ‘known’ mission exists, your mission will be to become The Six. The Six will be those who will carry your casket upon your death. The Six will be your closest friends. They know your history because they either made it with you or you have shared the details with them. The Six are those who stood by you, and you them, through thick and thin.
Pick Carefully.
Pick The Six carefully. Give it great thought. Once you have selected The Six, let them know what you want to do. Commit to this life-long friendshipping project. Initially, it will be tough to make time and prioritize The Six as life has a tendency of getting in the way. I promise you however, the investment into The Six will pay off in dividends you can’t even begin to imagine. Better health. Great wealth. More fulfilling life.
I could write a book on the art and science of friendshipping and maybe someday I will. But for now, I encourage you to do a little research on the many benefits of the strong bonds of friendship. While you are at it look at the root cause of addictions, mental and physical health issues, ongoing financial problems, feelings of unworthiness or lack of fulfillment, and even professional burnout.
It’s tough to be in a funk for long when you have a tribe to lean on. A burden shared over a cup of java with members of your exclusive The Six Club will de-funk you in minutes!
If you are unsure how to create a The Six Club – reach out to me!
Click to hear my Pillars In Franchising interview. I start at the one-hour mark. Stay tuned for part two, in next article: Business isn’t always Kumbaya, sometimes it’s more like war.
Rebecca Monet is president and chief scientist of Zoracle Profiles. She is fascinated with neuroscience and human performance. Zoracle is a franchise specific solutions provider offering a suite of psychometric assessments to franchisors and franchise consultants. Zoracle’s SpotOn! meta-analysis provides insight no singular profile, survey, algorithm or assessment can. Zoracle’s SpotOn! science determines franchisee-franchisor compatibility and predicts performance. Zoracle tools reduce recruitment and support costs while increasing franchisee validation and performance.