Recently one of our new franchisor clients asked me how to deal with a franchisee whom he believed suffered with cognitive dissonance. He wanted to know if there was a ‘test’ that could measure cognitive dissonance so he could avoid future recruitment mistakes.
Cognitive dissonance refers to a situation involving conflicting attitudes, beliefs or behaviors. This produces a feeling of mental discomfort leading to an alteration in attitudes, beliefs or behaviors to reduce the discomfort and restore balance.
For example, under normal conditions if someone felt inadequate in a particular area of business they might read a book, take a class or hire a coach. Maybe they would put in more effort knowing over time they would become more capable and confident. If they did something wrong they would fess-up and correct it. In other words, they would deal with the reality of the situation and take full responsibility.
However, someone suffering from cognitive dissonance would alter their attitudes, beliefs and behaviors to ignore, justify, deflect, distort or deny their inadequacies, decisions and/or reality. It’s easier to lie to self and others than to acknowledge a mistake. It’s less painful to ride the wave of unwarranted ego and imaginary accomplishments than to look in the mirror. Mentally distorting a situation is often less painful than acknowledging the truth.
“Sometimes people don’t want to hear the truth because they don’t want their illusions destroyed.” – Friedrich Nietzsche
From a scientific point of view, we cannot physically observe cognitive dissonance, and therefore we cannot objectively measure it. However, in a classic dissonance experiment by Aronson and Mills (1959), Aronson proposes the idea of dissonance as an inconsistency between a person’s self-concept and cognition about their behavior makes it seem likely that dissonance is really nothing more than guilt.
I tend to agree.
Guilt and shame are painful emotions, with serious, often self-destructive consequences. It’s not surprising then one would create distance between their inner and other selves to maintain sanity.
Steven Berglas, the author of Your Own Worst Enemy: Understanding the Paradox of Self-defeating Behavior, states it well. I share, with edits, his thoughts and six signs you are suffering from guilt (and may not know it):
William Shakespeare, described guilt (in Macbeth) as life’s fitful fever. Anyone who has suffered pangs of guilt knows Shakespeare, nailed the essence of this psychic malignancy.
Guilt is a double-whammy distress: You feel culpable for a wrong that is not known to people who should be apprised of it, yet when you contemplate an airing of your misdeeds a feeling of shame kicks in and blocks you from doing so. Unfortunately, thinking about what you did –or obsessing over permutations of your shamefulness— is what makes guilt a truly fitful fever. The moment most people feel guilt, then shame, their psychic defenses move in to deny, repress, and ultimately suppress awareness of it (i.e.: cognitive dissonance). This of course, does nothing to resolve it, which is why I describe guilt as radioactive waste of the psyche: You can bury it, but it is guaranteed to leach through the barrier you put between it and your cognitive control panel, to ultimately mess-up your life in a variety of ways.”
Six Signs Your Suffering from Guilt
Professional Relationships Do Not Last. One of the worst consequences of suppressed guilt is the disruption it causes to your self-image. When you are able to suppress guilt you are undoubtedly a nice guy, proud of many things, and affable. But when guilt seeps into your consciousness and you’re aware of hiding something that shames you, you aren’t fond of who you are and believe that others see the “damned spot” you cannot seem to wash out.
Chronically a Day Late and a Dollar Short. It takes a ton of energy to keep feelings of guilt suppressed. A result of this is that you become distracted from work, claiming fatigue or other excuses. When you should be acting boldly, you are stuck at your desk batting-away intrusive thoughts. All the while you cope with this fate, business proceeds around you and competitors take the lead.
Putting Others Down. One of the more primitive defenses for feeling ashamed of oneself is an attempt to level the playing field by “seeing” others as being as tainted as you are. Someone who feels guilty will do this in a variety of ways including blaming, lying, gossiping, slandering and even joking about others. Plato suggests that humor is a manifestation of felt superiority over others less fortunate than we are. However, folks with guilt never seem to add the funny punch line to their put-down, and instead simply put people down despite swearing they were just ‘joking’.
Can’t Handle Constructive Criticism. Guilt is a form of self-criticism that can beat your ego like a drummer hits a tom-tom. When that happens you’re sore and sensitive, so any minor slight makes you feel as though you are pistol-whipped. Tacitus, the ancient Roman senator advised: “To show resentment at a reproach is to acknowledge that one may have deserved it.”
Guilt Makes You Paranoid. Shakespeare had another observation about guilt that bears repeating: “Suspicion always haunts the guilty mind; the thief doth fear each bush an officer.” If you are guilty the odds are you fear that anyone and everyone you need to deal with is out to screw you. What causes this is projection, another psychic defense mechanism that can temporarily serve to rid you of upsetting feelings: “I’m not untrustworthy, that guy’s a double-dealing snake.”
Guilt Can Sabotage Your Success. There’s no getting around it: Many people who harbor feelings of guilt will not allow themselves to succeed. A major cause of this type of self-defeating behavior, and others, is the rationale that if you are the one meting-out punishment for heinous offenses, you not only take the wind out of the sails of those who would gladly tear-you-up, you administer more benign punishments to boot. Hating what you did or wished to do or fantasized about doing can really get you down on yourself; so much so that denying yourself an award, prize, or achievement, seems like a small price to pay. The problem with this system of justice is that it doesn’t work: You still haven’t done what it takes to resolve guilt, and will likely repeat the cycle of coming close to “making it” and then “going bust,” ad nauseum.
The good news is that resolving guilt, permanently, is one declarative statement away, and need not involve decades of psychoanalysis. As Oscar Wilde observed: It is the confession, not the priest, that gives us absolution. Fess-up and you can free yourself from the Sisyphusian torture of pushing that rock up the hill only to “slip” and have it roll back down, over, and over, and over.
Guilt and shame repels success. Although we at Zoracle Profiles cannot ‘test’ for cognitive dissonance within your prospective franchisees, you can pay attention to symptoms stemming from its core cause.
Sidebar: Shame, is at the core of addiction and codependency.